Israel has finally come forward with an explanation for its nuclear attack on Iran. Apparently, there was an incident five years ago when Chico, beloved donkey of Palestinian Muhammed Olivetree (both pictured to left), pooped on the shoe of an Israeli squatter who was busy chopping down the Olive trees owned by Mr. Olivetree. The "Illegal" squatter, Ehud Killemall, immediately grabbed his fully-automatic M-16 (donated by Christian American fundamentalists) and fired at Chico as he trotted down the hill with Mr. Olivetree. Israeli soldiers were able to apprehend the pair later that afternoon.
Mr. Olivetree pleaded innocent to charges of terrorism, but was sentenced to 5 years in prison; Chico was sent to a concentration camp for Palestinian animals - which is the same one used for Palestinian humans, since the Israelis don't see any difference between the two.
Mr. Olivetree served the full five years and upon release from prison, immediately searched for his beloved Chico. After a month, with the help of concentration camp inhabitants, the two were reunited. Mr. Olivetree went back to his Olive tree grove, proudly riding on Chico's back. However, Chico apparently still held a grudge against Mr. Killemall and immediately recognized him by the side of the road as he was busy destroying more olive trees. Before Mr. Olivetree could stop him, Chico ran up and kicked Killemall right in the nuts.
Details are still fuzzy at this time, but sources have speculated that Chico and his owner fled to Iran, rather than face the death penalty. Mossad agents tracked the two fugitives deep inside Iran but, despite three attempts, were unable to assassinate the pair. It is thought that the Israeli government decided to nuke Tehran in order to punish Mr. Olivetree and Chico. More as the story develops!
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