by Jack Cleary
Congressman Brad Sherman (D-CA) and his patron, pro-Israel lobby AIPAC, have announced that they have found evidence that Rachel Corrie was a terrorist. Apparently Corrie (see picture), along with Palestinian scientists, had developed a hybrid tree root system that was capable of attacking innocent Israeli Army bulldozers. "You can clearly see the roots tangling in the bulldozer. Unfortunately for Corrie, these same roots tangled her foot and pulled the dozer over her, as the soldier desperately tried to avoid hitting her", stated Sherman.
When asked why the bulldozer backed up over Corrie to make sure she was dead, Sherman stated that the hybrid tree roots were dangerous and unpredictable. "Unfortunately for Corrie, they turned on her just like poor Dr. Frankenstein's creation did."
Sherman has also introduced a bill into congress, making it a crime to mention Corrie's name in public. "Any US citizen who dares to mention this terrorist's name will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law", shouted an angry Sherman during his inspired speech on the floor of congress. Sherman received an enthusiastic standing ovation as top representatives of AIPAC looked on from their private gallery.
As follow-up to an earlier story about a Giant Angry Squid, Sherman also stated that it would also be a violation of the Patriot Act for any American citizen to claim that the squid didn't exist. "Any American citizen who publicly denies the existence of the Angry Squid or who insists that the Gaza flotilla was attacked by Israeli commandos will be sent to a federal holding facility for evaluation and indoctrination", claimed Sherman.
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